Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
