Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
