omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize