I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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