nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
