I don't think brook has ever known best
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm passing your future prison.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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