i don't plan on having that self control this summer
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
