I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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