is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
There are leaves in my underwear?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
