you have to choose: penises or morals?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize