Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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