Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
