she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
