The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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