i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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