just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
