i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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