I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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