Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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