Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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