I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Help. Why am I so naked?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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