who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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