then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
