fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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