is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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