Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He did a backflip because drugs
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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