I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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