i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I stole a fireplace last night.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
