is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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