My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
