Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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