So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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