OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
