i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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