oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
