South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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