i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
