Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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