try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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