My brain says no but my pants say off.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
