...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
