I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If I die, sorry about rent.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
