Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I smell like Dick and happiness
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
