come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
