what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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