I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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