So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
