What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
