think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
