Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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