so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Is it penis luge time yet?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
so much tequila, so little girl.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
