It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I deserve this hangover.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
