now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
