its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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