I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
