Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize