my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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