i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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