windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She bit a glass in half.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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