Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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