I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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